I was left in no doubt at all that the Plaintiff deeply loves her daughter and is saddened by the thought - which she does not accept - that NT may not love her. They view their relationship differently. I suppose most mothers and daughters do. There were undoubtedly times when things were fraught between them and she told me, and I accept, that at times both mother and father found NT hard to handle. Mother is more forgiving of daughter than vice versa.
NT cannot fully appreciate the reasons for and the consequences of her parents divorce but I was satisfied by the Plaintiff that it was a very difficult time indeed for her.
Knowledge of NT's joining The Family was a surprise but NT's letters were loving and she seemed genuinely happier than she had been. As knowledge of The Family grew, so did the Plaintiff's concern. I am quite satisfied the Plaintiff was genuine in arranging the luncheon party at which NT was introduced to VJ and KJ. The purpose was to open NT's eyes to past abuse. It was left to KJ to explain this. KJ was a teenage girl and could not possibly have posed a threat. NT's uncle was present. He was independent and there to see fair play. In no sense at all could this have been interpreted as an improper meeting. It inevitably had that effect. Because that effect was inevitable, it is pointless to lay blame for the deterioration of the relationship between mother and daughter. The fact is that The Family saw this as another attack upon themselves and they closed ranks. Against that background it is significant to note that when NT had her baby, she did telephone her mother. She did not telephone her father. Although father is now seen in a much more favourable light than mother, because he does not condemn The Family, the relationship is not as close as both would believe.
I also wholly acquit the Plaintiff of any attempt to "kidnap" CT. She was certainly anxious to make contact with him. She was certainly in touch by now with the anti-cult movement. She dearly wished both her children to leave The Family. But she was not a party to any improper means of achieving that object.
The Plaintiff has conducted herself throughout this long, draining hearing with a dignity that commands my admiration. I allowed her the opportunity to speak from the witness box to NT. It was an emotional yet tightly controlled appeal. It was a protestation of her love for NT and her confidence in NT's ability to care for her son. Her appeal was in effect only for NT to open her eyes. I fear a cold heart had chilled NT's sensibilities. NT sat stony-faced. It was a sad moment.
The case as it was originally pleaded included allegations that:-
- members were encouraged to lie, maintain secrecy and regard the system with hatred and fear.
- separation of spouse from spouse and parents from children was widely practised.
- the result of FFing was a number of children who did not know their fathers;
- neither did many children born of sharing.
- children were more children of The Family than of the parent
- children were harshly disciplined by withholding food, excessive corporal punishment, silence, humiliation, bullying by adults
- children were deprived of a full and proper education or access to information from newspapers, radio and television
- promiscuity was encouraged
- child sexual abuse had occurred
- Flirty Fishing and dancing have been encouraged
- The Family were intolerant of those who suffered disability
- The Family discouraged proper medical treatment
- NT's capacity for making independent choices and judgments was nullified.
The grandmother's earnest wish is that NT leave The Family. She was at one time minded to suggest that it would be satisfactory if she lived outside a communal home and remained within the group as a TSer but she no longer advances that case. She is driven reluctantly to ask that she be given care and control of S. Her proposal is that he should make his home with her in Kenya. She has all the material comforts and the finance to make that possible. He will be cared for by a nanny. In time he will return to England to be educated. She would hope and expect that NT will maintain contact.
I am quite satisfied that in many respects the plan advanced by Grandmother is satisfactory. He will be physically well looked after. He will be loved by his Grandmother. He knows her sufficiently and he will settle in time in her home. I am now satisfied that the Plaintiff will not abandon her responsibilities but will honour them with the same steely determination that has characterised her pursuit of her claim. She will do so despite the fact that at the age of 58 it will not be easy to do so.