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How
God Helped Me Understand the Gospel
A
Personal Testimony and Confession of Faith
By
Bernie L. Gillespie
©
August 25, 1996. All rights reserved.
This
is an open letter to those who were my ministerial associates in
the United Pentecostal Church, International. It is also written
to all my friends who have known me through a mutual relationship
with the UPCI. I offer this testimony to all who desire to witness
the power of the Gospel to transform one who was deeply steeped
in one's own denomination and convinced of his one's own doctrine
until God by His grace surprised him with the Gospel.
A
remarkable
and dramatic event has happened in my life. One that I neither expected
nor one which I could have planned. In all truth, it is the most
wonderful and thrilling event of my life. It is so significant that
I am compelled to write about it. Because of my relationship with
you, I feel a personal responsibility to give you an account of
just what has happened. I want you to know first hand what has happened
in my life and why. I prefer that I tell you rather than a second
or third party who may misunderstand. I first want to share my background
with you to help you understand how significant is this occurrence.
Next, I will explain some spiritually formative events in my life
which I believe led up to God?s gracious opening of my present understanding.
Thirdly, I will tell you what has happened as clearly and openly
as I possible can. Fourth, I will state my present understanding
of the Gospel. Lastly, I will express some more vital implications
for my life and ministry and for those with whom I have shared fellowship
for nearly twenty-five years.
I apologize
for the length of this testimony. But, I think you will see that
both my background and specific events in my life give meaning to
the momentous experience and understanding which God has recently
given to me. I ask for your patience and careful understanding as
you read. I do not necessarily ask you to validate nor to agree
with what I have to say. I simply ask for you to give attention
to my account of the most marvelous thing that God has done in my
life. It may be that God would allow this testimony to glorify Him
and in the process be used by Him to benefit your life. I am not
following some grandiose scheme to solely promote myself or my opinion.
I am not overly enamored with myself. I am only one man. I am not
perfect nor am I impervious to error. Therefore, I tell it to you.
Nevertheless, I also have a conscience, I read Scripture, and I
am accountable to the God of truth to speak my story. I am charged
to tell it.
Personal
Background
I am a fourth generation Oneness Pentecostal
on four sides. My grandfathers were both Oneness Pentecostal preachers.
My father has been a Oneness Pentecostal preacher and pastor for
over 40 years. My wife?s grandfather was a Oneness Pentecostal and
a United Pentecostal Church International (UPCI) pastor.
My
mother has always reminded me that I was dedicated to the Lord before
I was born. My parents raised me to give my life to the service
of the Lord. As to my faith, I have loved and believed the "fundamental
doctrine" of the UPCI for nearly forty years. Even before I
knew of the "fundamental doctrine," I cut my teeth on
the Oneness of God, Jesus? Name baptism, the Holy Ghost, and Pentecostal
worship of about every stripe that could be found. I have a great
appreciation for my grandfathers and father who have taught me to
love God and his Word. My one grandfather was a "healing"
preacher. He was also very strong on the "New Birth."
In fact, I think he had two sermons: one on healing and one on the
"New Birth." I still respect his convictions. My other
grandfather was a strict follower of principle and a teacher of
the Bible. He was very stern in his manner, but I admire his convictions
greatly. My grandparents were thoroughly Oneness Pentecostal in
every way. I have deep and tender respect for them because of that.
I believe with all of my heart that they and my parents wanted for
me the very best of their faith. They have planted a most precious
love for God in my memory and my heart today.
As
a child, my life revolved around the Apostolic church. My Grandfather
was the pastor until he died. Then my father became the pastor.
It was a given that when church was scheduled I would be there.
I literally grew up on the church pews. There was a great diversity
of preachers that came by that church during the years of my childhood
and adolescence. I was exposed to just about everything which Pentecostalism
had to offer. There were healings, shouting, demonism, prophecies,
holy laughter, rolling in the aisles, exuberant "Holy Ghost"
singing, loud, dynamic, emotional and inspiring preaching and much
more. We held "Gospel sings," fellowship meetings, conventions,
and fun church picnics. People were baptized with the Spirit. There
were baptisms in the river and later in a baptismal tank. There
were problems and church disputes, but there were joy and loving
fellowship as well.
Somewhere
before my tenth birthday, I had a very vivid experience or new awareness
of my sinfulness. As I think back, before this time, I thought of
sin as something which really wicked or bad people did. But with
this experience came a personal knowledge that I had sinned against
God. I felt guilt and remorse as I had not before. It was at this
time that I knew I needed Jesus. I realized at this time what Jesus
had done in dying for my sins. Up to this time I thought of the
Cross in terms of pity. I felt bad for Jesus because of what bad
men had done to him. I worshiped Him in my little heart as a good
man, who was God, but for some reason, let wicked people hurt him
because He loved the world. This changed with the new awareness
of my personal sinfulness. I realized that Jesus had died for MY
sins. He died to forgive ME. I had caused Him to die by being a
sinner. Now, I knew that unless I trusted in Jesus I would be judged
for MY OWN sins.
I was
taught that baptism was something the Bible said to do. I did it
because I believed in what my church said. They taught that I needed
to receive the Holy Ghost. I had a lot of trouble with how that
was to take place. I could not get around that I had to speak with
tongues. I believed it was true. I wanted it (sometimes to be "part"
of the church and sometimes because I really wanted God). But all
the preaching and instruction (from just about everybody in church)
did not make it easier for me. I had to speak in tongues, but I
did not know how. I even watched others to see what they did. I
tried all the motions, prayed all the words, held my hands up until
they were numb from the lack of circulation. For me "seeking"
for the Holy Ghost was one of the most difficult things of my young
life. I knew that I was not saved without it. I was worried that
the Rapture would take place, my parents would go, and I would be
left behind.
One
night in November of 1963 I was thrilled with a wonderful experience
of God?s presence. I did not know what I had done to cause it. In
fact, I don?t think it was because of any thing that I did except
believe God. I was simply overwhelmed as much as my little heart
could be that God was real, he loved me and was in my heart. At
that time I spoke in a language I did not understand. But, it was
not the experience of speaking with tongues which most profoundly
affected my life then or now. It was my new relationship with Jesus
which moved and changed my heart. I had such an incredible sense
of love for everyone. It was something that I had never known before.
It was a life-changing moment. From this time to the last year,
it has been this sense and awareness of God?s presence which has
anchored my faith in many ways. This night I was baptized (in 400
water) in the Name of Jesus. I was now a full-fledged member of
the Apostolic church.
I had
several "spiritual experiences" at this time. I was healed
several times. I was made aware of a call of God on my life. I did
not understand it then, but I recognize it now. I felt or experienced
the presence of God inside me. It was (and is now) hard to explain
that. But, I truly had equally strong experiences of God?s presence
before I spoke with tongues as I did when and after I spoke with
tongues. As I look back today, God was active in my life by His
Spirit in many real and powerful ways. My experience of speaking
with tongues was part of that and not the beginning or end of the
Spirit?s work in my life.
When
adolescence came with pressure from my peers at school, my faith
waned. I became rebellious toward my parents and stopped attending
church. I became involved in many things which teens my age were
doing. The details are not necessary. Needless to say, I had "fallen
away" from the church. Nevertheless, I had a strong sense of
God?s nearness and reality all during this time. I still knew He
was active in my life, even if I was not obedient to Him. I even
told my friends when we talked about religion that if ever I would
be a Christian again I would only be an Apostolic Christian. I got
into arguments with some of my friends over the Trinity and speaking
with tongues. All this took place while I was very far from living
the lifestyle I was taught (and I believed) to live as an Apostolic.
The
time came when I was finding out that having my own way and living
a life "running from God" was not as great as it looked.
At the age of nineteen I had several events in my life which caused
me to rethink the life I was living. I returned to a church service
chagrined, but with a deep need to be right with God. I was filled
with a sense of having done a great wrong against God by turning
my back to Him. I was weighed down with a consciousness of my own
selfish, arrogant attitude. It had caused me to ignore the call
of God on my life. I had wronged God and I wanted to be right.
Within
the next month, I opened my heart and life to God in prayer. On
a Saturday night in the Spring of 1972, I attended a service in
my little home church in Morgantown, WV. At the end, I knelt at
a pew and asked God for forgiveness. But, this time I had a deep
and assuring realization that God had forgiven me. My understanding
was limited to the Bible verses and preaching I had heard. But,
I was overjoyed to know that I was accepted back by God. He indeed
had taken my sins and I was His child. It was this moment which
would direct the course of the rest of my life.
As
I grew in my faith and walked with Christ, I had an insatiable hunger
both to study Scripture and to do all I could to lead people to
Him. I knew that God had called me into the ministry. I wanted further
training for preparation to the ministry. It was at this time I
expressed to my father a desire for more Bible education. He told
me that the Apostolic Bible Institute was one of the best places
to go. After a visit to St. Paul, MN I made plans and enrolled in
the Fall of 1972.
I want
to say that the three years I spent at ABI were three of the greatest
years of my life. I was totally immersed in Bible study and learning
about how to minister to others. I grew in my relationship with
God. I grew in my knowledge of Scripture. I developed many friendships.
I was excited to be in such a wonderful church. There were many
dedicated and faith-filled Christians living their life as an example
before me. I met my wife and we were married during my final year
of school. We dreamed of the ministry to which God was leading us.
We both graduated from school and entered the ministry eager and
excited over the prospects of traveling and preaching the Word of
God. For the next three years we lived "on faith" and
evangelized throughout the United States.
Approximately
three years after graduation I was asked to teach at the Apostolic
Bible Institute. I taught and ministered in the Apostolic Bible
Church for five years. My wife worked for the school and also volunteered
in the church. As an instructor, I taught courses in Bible Geography,
Old Testament, Religious Education, Youth Ministries and Missions.
I proctored S. G. Norris? Doctrine I class and graded student papers
for him. Bro. Norris loaned me some of his own notebooks (with his
own typing and hand writing going back to the 1940s) to help me
in preparing my classes. (I considered this a rare privilege). This
exposure to his teaching makes me familiar with a core of teaching
which represents those who influenced Bro. Norris (W. T. Witherspoon,
G.T. Haywood, et. al.). He has shaped several generations of preachers
who are now leaders and ministers of the UPCI.
I was
ordained in the UPCI 16 years ago, in the Minnesota district. S.
G. Norris was the speaker for my ordination. I have been a licensed
minister of the UPCI for nearly 21 years. I preached and taught
in over 200 UPCI churches in over thirty states. I spoke at camps
and conferences. I have presented papers at the Symposium on Oneness
Pentecostalism sponsored by the UPCI. I have written articles for
UPCI publications. The current church which I "founded"
and pastor (for over ten years) was planted as a UPCI home mission
work. The truth is, the UPCI has been my home and I have been raised
and nurtured within it.
My
connections with the UPCI are neither shallow nor brief. I have
maintained a deep, personal relationship with many people within
the UPCI. I have a great love and respect for many in the UPCI.
Some have been like a fathers and very good friends. I count it
a high honor and privilege to have shared time with such great people
as Bro. & Sis. R. G. Cook, Oscar Vouga, George Chambers, David
Grey, L. R Mitchell, and many others. They have helped me and shared
with me. I do not treat that as a light thing. In fact is has been
the kindness of ministers and laity which has prevented me from
examining certain issues more openly. I have known that, in order
for me to follow the Lord and my conscience, guided by the Scriptures,
I would have to take positions that would not be pleasing to my
friends and colleagues. I do not want to be rejected as a person.
I do not want to "cause trouble." It is not my desire
to unduly challenge the faith of anyone. But specific issues have
become so vital to my faith, the Kingdom of God and the integrity
of Scripture, that I cannot choose according to personal or emotional
concerns. I am called by God to do His will. My preferences, traditions
or culture are all subordinate to His Word and Will.
I cannot
express strongly enough that up to January of 1996 I have been a
staunch advocate of the UPCI fundamental doctrine. Those who were
my students in Bible college and those who have heard me preach
can testify that the Acts 2:38 message was always an essential part
of my message. My friends in the ministry will also know that in
private conversations I was one who always stood strong for the
"New Birth." I was at times arrogant and judgmental against
those who did not believe it. I can now honestly say that I had
a very smug and self-righteous attitude about it in relating to
any who called themselves Christians but had not followed Acts 2:38.
I did not realize this attitude at the time. Only now with a more
tender heart (made so by God) can I confess it. As a pastor in Findlay,
Ohio, I literally drove away new people from my church because I
was out-spoken about the necessity of every person to "obey"
Acts 2:38. Of course, I saw this as the price you pay for holding
to truth and I took a measure of pride in my stand for truth.
All
of this background is essential so that you will understand what
a dramatic change God made in me through the Word of God.
Events
Preceding My New Understanding
January 1996,
I went on an educational trip to Israel. While there I was thoroughly
convinced of the prevalence and power of religion over human beings.
It is staggering to stand in a land with deep traditions of religion
which go back thousands of years. At the same time, one?s own nation
is a mere four centuries old. As I explored the cultural context
of Judaism and Christianity it became apparent, that, often religion
- our way to God - becomes confused with salvation - God?s coming
to us. I had to honestly face, as I walked that land, how much of
what I and many Christians are doing is more cultural and religious
than anything. At the same time, I recognized that Jesus did not
come to begin a new religion. He was God come to Man and not Man
come to God. He lived and taught so as to distinguish Himself from
the various forms and structures of Judaism (and all religion for
that matter) in order to demonstrate His redemptive power and the
grace of God.
While
in Israel I was working through a devotional study of a subject
which God had drawn to my attention in previous months. I had preached
several months earlier about "The Lord is our Righteousness."
Each day I read Scripture and prayed about the righteousness of
God and then traversed the holy land of Israel. Something profound
occurred in my heart and thinking. God opened my heart to reflect
upon my own understanding of the Gospel. The light bulb went on
in my head and heart. I saw clearly that my understanding about
righteousness was very limited. It was not the righteousness of
Judaism or Christianity which Scripture spoke about. It was the
righteousness of God. Jesus was the righteousness of God. And He
was our righteousness! "Still," I asked, "how does
He become my righteousness?" The answer God gave me was extraordinary!
In
the Gospels, Jesus became righteousness for those who were completely
cut off from Judaism by their lack of righteousness. The demoniac
was unclean. The Temple, the priesthood and sacrifices offered him
no hope because he was too unclean or unrighteous to share in them.
The woman with the hemorrhage was also too unclean to approach God
through the religion of the Jews. The Syro-Phoenician was a Gentile
with a demon possessed daughter. She was excluded from the people
of salvation. She too was unrighteous, both by birth and by her
circumstances. All these and more found in the Gospel accounts,
were people who were unclean. They were so unrighteous that they
were excluded from the means of being right with God. They were
unsavable!
Yet,
these are the very people to whom Jesus went. He was the righteousness
of God. He in mercy offered them a way to God through Him. He stood
between them and God (because He was perfect man and at the same
time wholly God) as righteousness. When I comprehended this, I came
to an understanding of righteousness which I did not know before.
Jesus became our righteousness! There is a real sense in which He
becomes our righteousness to enable us to stand before God. My heart
was broken open! I was flooded with a realization of God?s greatness
and mercy such as I had not known before!
After
returning from Israel, I was overcome with a clear and certain conviction
that I had not understood, nor preached the Gospel of Christ as
it is taught in the Scriptures. The reason: I had an incomplete
understanding about the work of the Cross. I was made to realize
that, by the Cross, Jesus justifies or makes right all those who
believe in Him. Before, I understood the Cross to be God?s means
for taking away my sins. I understood righteousness as that which
I did by the help of or in cooperation with the Spirit. Consequently,
how righteous I was and how accepted I was remained uncertain. I
depended on human measurements to evaluate my standing in righteousness
before God. That faulty belief changed to a more wonderful and glorious
knowledge of the mighty truth of the Gospel.
When
I realized that Jesus gave me His righteousness through faith in
His sacrifice of Calvary, I was awakened to a simple, clear teaching
of Scripture. It was a teaching of which I was truly ignorant. In
one way, I thought I knew it. But in another I never did. I now
know that by faith in Christ Jesus, I not only have forgiveness
of sin, but the righteousness of Jesus is counted to me - by that
same faith. I stand before God with the full righteousness of Christ.
Not because of God?s acceptance of me as I am, but because the blood
of Christ, whom I trust, covers me. It is because God Himself declares
me just on account of Jesus Christ. God, through my faith in Jesus,
declares on the authority of His Word and for His good pleasure,
that I am righteous - right to stand with Him as His child!!
This
experience so affected me that I began a very intense and in depth
examination of the book of Romans, Galatians, and Ephesians. At
the same time, I, with great carefulness and trepidation, also examined
my faith in the light of what I saw plainly taught in these letters.
I cannot convey to you how stunning and arresting this was to me.
It was as if I had not read the Scriptures before. I certainly had.
I graduated from Bible school. I taught in Bible school. I ministered
for over twenty years. I attended seminary. But that, in itself,
did not open my eyes to what God was showing me through His Word
by His Spirit. It was as though I had been blinded to such a degree
by my preconceived understanding, that, I could not see what was
evidently in view. But, I began to see them with new eyes. I now
see Scripture through the Gospel. It is the key to all understanding
and the interpretation of Scripture.
I realized
that I have heard very little teaching from the Book of Romans throughout
my Christian life. Except for three passages (Rom 6; 8:31-39; 12:1-2)
I could scarcely remember preachers speaking or expounding on the
teaching of Paul in Romans. I had rarely heard the word "justification"
used in all my years in Pentecostalism. We did not have a class
or any intentional teaching on Romans in Epistles class at the Apostolic
Bible Institute. I asked many others if they had heard this word
spoken about and they could not remember it, even though they were
raised in an Apostolic church. I was surprised that such an essential
and prevalent concept such as justification would be neglected in
Oneness Pentecostal churches. I was perplexed at why I rarely encountered
teaching from such an enormously important book as Romans. Why was
it neglected or so often slighted in the teaching of salvation?
I began
to devote a large amount of time to the study of Romans. Because
the subject of justification was so important to Paul, I concentrated
on the meaning of justification. I began to examine what it meant.
I also began to read the writings of UPCI writers about justification.
What I discovered at this point floored me. I had not understood
what Paul was saying about justification. I also came to see that
theologically, the UPCI interpretation of Justification and Sanctification
was nearly the same as the interpretation of Roman Catholic Church.
While the particular means of justification were different (e.g.
Baptism in Jesus? Name, receiving the baptism of the Holy Spirit
evidenced by speaking with tongues), the RCC doctrine - over which
the very Reformation was fought - was the same as that of my own
denomination. I asked myself, "How can this be? We are Protestants.
We don?t believe in works righteousness or adding to the grace of
God." But, it was true. Just as the RCC teaches that one is
justified by faith plus obedience, so does the UPCI (and a number
of other Pentecostal and Christian groups). While the UPCI is much
different than the Roman Catholic Church in many ways, the root
theology concerning salvation is amazingly similar .
The
key concept that Paul spoke about which I had not grasped was "the
righteousness of God." In Romans 1:17 Paul says that "the
righteousness of God is revealed" in the Gospel of Christ.
I wondered if this was God?s own righteousness whereby He is the
Holy God? Or, is it the righteousness we do in obeying the commands
of God? I found that it was neither of these. Paul speaks of this
righteousness being revealed as "good news." He calls
it the "power of God unto salvation." In the Old Testament
the holiness of God was not good news but brought dread and awe.
How could the revealing of God?s awesome righteousness be "good
news" for condemned sinners? I also knew that it could not
be human righteousness in verse 17 because Paul tells in Romans
3:10 that "there is none righteous, no, not one." Just
as many others asked this question, I wanted to know how the righteousness
of God was wrapped up in the Gospel. It dawned on me (the illumination
of God?s Spirit through the study of God?s Word) that this "righteousness
of God" was the righteousness of Christ presented to God for me and counted
to me. My former
theological structure collapsed like a "house of cards".
Through this knowledge God created a faith in me toward His Gospel
which transformed all my "doctrines," and ways of thinking.
It revolutionized my approach to God, my every day practices and
my whole definition and attitude of ministry.
I began
to preach through the book of Romans. With God?s help, I was assured
through Scripture that I was preaching the pure Gospel of Christ
for the first time in my ministry. I have never experienced anything
like it before. I can not express the results of this preaching
in the hearts of those who heard it. It was as though a "veil"
has been taken away (2 Corinthians 3:7-4:6). The members of my church
rejoiced, cried, exalted and spoke boldly in our gatherings that
God had open their hearts to an understanding of the marvelous Gospel
of Christ such as they had never know before. So many made the same
comment: "Why didn?t we see this before?" It seemed as
though most everyone in the church began to read Scripture in wonderful
new ways. Even a new sense of unity and genuine love has come
among us. Old grudges and differences began to melt. We realize
that God has been so merciful to us that we could not condemn others.
New expressions of desire to serve in the church emerged. A new
level of sharing the truth with others appeared. Those who had been
reluctant to share their faith before, are now speaking to many
people about what God has done through Jesus. Each service was another
time of sharing understanding of Scripture and sharing praise for
what a marvelous Savior we have. God has started a true revival
in the hearts of the members of Grace and Truth Community Church
through the preaching of the Gospel.
My
New Understanding of the Gospel
I wish to share with you a statement of my
new understanding of the Gospel. Because I do not want my testimony
to be more lengthy than it is, I decided not to include it here.
Because of the nature of trying to present to you a clear and comprehensive
statement, I have written a separate booklet. It is entitled, "What
Makes You Right with God?" You can read it for further understanding
of what I now believe. I certainly do not claim that the content
of that booklet contains any ideas which are new. They are not.
It is a statement of what has been in Scripture all along, but which
I have just begun to understand.
I wrote
that booklet to give you as much explanation and clarity as I can.
I know that it is heavy and weighty reading. I have assumed that
such a subject deserves as much gravity and sober reflection as
we can give it. I appreciate your reading it. I know that you will
take it seriously and examine it closely.
The
Effect Upon My Life and Ministry
The effect upon
my life of what I now know about the Gospel of Christ is amazing
and remarkable. It has opened up for me a new understanding of the
work of Christ and a new relationship with God. Before this, my
relationship with God was still wonderful. But now, it is as if
all the things I previously experienced have a greater depth, a
broader scope of God?s marvelous redemption for me and for all the
world. In order to convey to you some of the effects of God?s revealing
His Gospel to me, I would like to share with you a comparison. I
would like to give you some ways I used to think or live and contrast
that with how God has changed my thinking and my life. I am writing
transparently here. I want to express honestly how I have thought
in order to go below the surface of outward profession which ministers
and Christians can convey. I believe you will find God speaking
to you in the same powerful ways He has spoken to me about the Gospel.
Before
this understanding of the Gospel, I did not know how much my mind
was cast into a certain form of thinking. I could not see certain
truths in Scripture even though I was looking at them. I was unconsciously
shaped by my tradition and background to see certain Scriptures
a certain way. I could not see them differently because the beliefs
I held confirmed that my interpretations were right. I "believed
it was right because I believed it was right." I was like the
guy who went to the doctor convinced that he was dead. The doctor
tried many ways to show him that it was ridiculous to believe he
was dead. But, every argument was turned around because the man
was totally convinced he was right. So the doctor showed him medical
books that said dead people don?t bleed. He took him to a morgue
and cut a cadaver to show him that dead people don?t bleed. Finally,
the doctor asked the man if he was convinced that dead people don?t
bleed. He said, "It certainly looks that way." So then
the doctor stuck him with a needle and he began to bleed. The man
shocked, looked at the blood and then said, "My goodness, dead
men do bleed!" The meaning of the story: We all tend to shape
the facts, even Scripture to our assumptions.
One
of the greatest things God has done for me is to help me see that
I have misunderstood the Gospel. I had done so because my assumptions
had gotten in the way. I always believed that we "had the truth."
That we had the "special revelation." It took the firm
insistence of the Lord to show me my arrogance and pride. He has
opened the meaning of many passages of Scripture with which I used
to struggle. Before I had to go to great lengths to explain how
these passages really did not mean what the obvious reader could
see they did mean. Now, there are no verses of Scripture which I
must "steer away from"in teaching and witnessing so that
people won?t "get the wrong idea." All the verses of Scripture
are mine and I am bold to use them. The Gospel, in effect, broke
One
of the greatest false assumptions I held was that my relationship
with God was dependent upon my performance. This idea insidiously
controlled my life at levels I was not willing to admit. I did not
live entirely on the sufficiency of God?s mercy. I also lived on
the fact that my ability to obey God and do His work was sufficient
to please Him. How foolish I was to think I could add something
to God?s righteousness. Yet, I did and taught that to others. No
one can come to or stand before God on the basis of their own righteousness.
God opened my heart to realize that I had a very poor understanding
of human sinfulness and a seriously flawed view of His holiness.
To think that a human could ever keep God?s standard is the height
of unbelief. I thank God for showing me I am saved by His righteousness
plus nothing! Because of my new understanding of the Gospel, I now
trust in His performance for me and not my performance for Him.
I lived
as though I was judged by God by the amount and quality of personal
righteousness produced by my life (through the "power of the
Spirit" of course). It is a great deliverance of my mind and
heart to accept the truth of the Scriptures which say that Jesus
is my righteousness by faith. By trusting only in Christ?s righteousness
I am judged by God on the basis of the personal righteousness of
Jesus Christ. I am judged in Jesus and that verdict is "righteous."
(Romans 4:23-25; Hebrews 9:27,28)
As a
minister I taught people that the focus is on what we have to do
or what God (or I as a pastor) thought they should do. When the
focus is on what people "ought to do," then a minister
has to devote a large portion of time on something other than the
Gospel and its proclamation. Instead, time is spent answering, "What
are my church?s "dos and don?ts? What church?s list is best?
How can I better enforce the keeping of the this list? How do I
deal with those who don?t agree with me in my church? Or those outside
my church who have a different list? On and on it goes. God changed
my heart to understand that my true calling is to proclaim the Gospel.
That means that I am called to declare what Almighty God has done,
and not what people have to do. The "good news" of the
Gospel is that Jesus becomes my righteousness. When that is preached
people are delivered from "lists" to serve the Lord out
of gratitude and true faith. "Nothing in my hand I bring; Only
to Your Cross I cling." (Augustus Toplady - Rock of Ages)
I used
to "feel" good or "right" based on whether I
taught a good Bible study, preached a good sermon or met a person?s
needs in pastoral care. If I failed to do these things or do them
well, I would "feel" bad or "out or sorts."
It was because I really related to God through my performance rather
than through the free gift of His forgiveness and righteousness
for me. Oh, how I can freely sing: "My hope is built on nothing
less Than Jesus blood and righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest
frame, but wholly lean on Jesus? Name. On Christ, the solid Rock,
I stand ? All other ground is sinking sand, All other ground is
sinking sand."(Edward Mote - The Solid Rock )
I operated
under the assumption that I "owed" God for my salvation.
I also somewhere in that thinking felt God "owed" me for
my faithfulness. It was like this: He blesses me because I love
him more than others. I pray more, God will give me more. I fast
more, so God has to give me more. And hadn?t He promised to work
this way in my life? No. Not really. I had been trained to think
about God in this way. I had been led to read Scripture so that
it seemed this way. God used a little story which came up in one
of our family devotions to help me illustrate this. The theme was
the gift of God?s mercy. The story was "What Bradley Owes."
It was a boy who brought a list of items to his mother. On the list
were things he had done. Each item had a money value placed beside
it. He totaled it and gave it as a "bill" to his mother.
The story goes on with the mother making her own list. She writes
down items such as meals, clothes, love, care during sickness, etc.
She totaled her "bill" with this sum: NOTHING. She did
not define her relationship to him in terms of obligations or as
a quid
pro quo
(something for something). Her labor was a total gift of love. After
I read this to my family, my wife and I shared our new understanding
of the Gospel to our children. The tears flowed and a special and
unique joy and peace came over our family. I did not owe God anything.
Not because His great love was not worthy of my everything. It was
because His love and His gift of salvation through Jesus Christ
refused to define His relationship with me in terms of crass and
menial obligation. It was in terms of noble and royal magnanimity
and mercy. His gift could not be lowered to a human definition of
debt. It was high and majestic and FREE.
Because
of my background and upbringing, I always down played the role of
grace. I knew I was saved by grace and that grace was taught in
the Bible. But, I preached grace in the spirit or idea that now
that Jesus has done this for us, shouldn?t we do something for Him.
I had turned the grace of God around into an obligation. The tragedy
is that it taught others to labor under this idea. Now, I am thrilled
to realize that I do not receive the grace of God "in vain"
or with a "price tag." "Now when a man works, his wages are not
credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. However, to the
man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his
faith is credited as righteousness. David says the same thing when
he speaks of the blessedness of the man to whom God credits righteousness
apart from works: "Blessed are they whose transgressions are
forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the
Lord will never count against him." (Romans 4:4-8)
I used
to operate under the assumption that I did good works, through grace
and faith, in order to be saved. Again, I had reversed Scripture
to suit a preconceived form of teaching. Paul plainly states in
Ephesians 2 that we are saved by grace through faith in Jesus, "for
good works." I am astonished at how unconsciously I allowed
the teaching of Scripture to be turned backwards in my thinking.
I now realize that the good works done in and through me by God?s
Spirit are not for salvation or to receive grace. They are the results
of grace and the gift of salvation. Good works are absolutely essential
for every Christian life. However, they are a reflection of salvation
and not the grounds for salvation.
I now
recognize that I held to a form of SELF-JUSTIFICATION. Although
I believed that God helped me, I was still responsible to produce
a righteousness "exceeding the Pharisees." In this thinking,
grace was a "filler" to make up for what I could not do
by the Holy Ghost. Grace was not sufficient, by itself. I also expected
this of others. I was very frustrated when others would not measure
up (and they never do, and neither did I when I was honest with
myself). I was discouraged when people fell short of my standard
of righteousness. I "knew" I was "right" about
what I required of others. I "knew" that my "convictions"
grew out of a deeper love for God than others. I "knew"
I was more dedicated, more consecrated, and that is why I felt justified
to require of others the standard of righteousness which I taught.
Thank God He broke down that pride! He conquered my conceit, veiled
with self-righteousness and self-assurance. He did it with a revelation
of the righteousness of Jesus Christ. While Jesus was the righteousness
of God He did not look down on my unrighteousness (Hebrews 8:12).
He offered me His (Romans 3:25; 5:17). Isn?t this the Spirit of
Christ. Isn?t this the real heart of ministry. Thank you Lord for
replacing a heart of self-righteousness which held impossible expectations
of others. Thank You for replacing it with a heart that wants to
share your righteousness with all the unrighteous.
One
of the most significant things my new understanding did was cause
me to reexamine my ministry. Before I could truly say that a good
portion of my teaching and preaching was about "what people
have to do." However, I now see that the Gospel is not a declaration
about what people have to do or have done. It is about what God
has done. It is what God has done in Christ to forgive our sins
and to be our righteousness. When I focus on what God has done,
I glorify God. Faith in Him becomes central and all important. It
is what God has done which motivates me, and those who hear me,
to "do" what honors God. Do I still preach that Christians
have an obligation? Yes. Paul tells us that clearly in Romans chapters
six, eight, and twelve. But, this obligation does not come first.
It is a result of the free gift of redemption and is done out of
a heart that is eternally humbled and grateful for such great salvation.
This obligation is not part of a requirement which God places on
His people for their salvation. It is the life they are called to
live as a result of their justification.
T here
were ways in which I viewed worship as something people had to do.
I got caught up in the notion that, if true worship was Pentecostal
worship, and if Pentecostal worship was more Pentecostal when it
was more demonstrative (jumping, shouting, running, slain in the
Spirit, etc.), then my church had not truly worshiped unless demonstrative
things were happening. I then found myself imposing forms of worship
as ways to assure people they were spiritual (or to qualify who
was "spiritual"). I had committed the ultimate insult
to the Holy Ghost and the worship of God: I required people to be
joyful. I made worship an idol. Worship was made the object rather
than God Himself. How impossible! How could I think this way? I
wasn?t alone. I turned worship into a law which people should keep
to be right with God (though "joyfully," of course). I
thank the Lord of mercy and grace with all my being for opening
my eyes to the truth that JESUS IS MY WORSHIP! "But now once
in the end of the world hath he appeared to put away sin by the
sacrifice of himself." (Hebrews 9:26) Since Jesus is the only
acceptable offering, He is the only accepted worship. Only the sacrifice
of praise "by him" is true and acceptable worship (Hebrews
13:15). When we worship through faith in His sacrifice we worship
in Spirit and truth (John 4:24).
Now
I do not "require" what God has "permitted."
I do not worship with any taint of obligation or debt besmirching
the precious expressions of gratitude which come from the hearts
of His children. It is totally a gift from me to Him for His gift
of righteousness and His Spirit to me. No longer do I as a pastor
rob people of their free joy by requiring them to do certain things
in worship to be more spiritual. Now when worship is not like I
"think it should be" I do not attack the worshiper. Instead,
God encourages me to preach more faithfully about the Christ Who
is our Offering of worship. He is the perfect Sacrifice of worship
(Ephesians 5:2). A church which allows room for people to worship
God freely out of their own faith, and in personal relationship
with Jesus, may not measure up to levels of demonstration which
others require (or work to produce). Nevertheless, it is far more
healthy spiritually for the worshiper and far more honoring to Jesus
Christ. The world dishonored God by unbelief and failed to worship
Him as God. Through faith in Jesus, we honor God as God, and offer
Him a worship of a sweet smelling savor (2 Corinthians 2:15). I used
to think of salvation as a "plan" or a formula which I
had to obey correctly to qualify for salvation. I rejoiced more
over the fact that I knew the formula or plan and had obeyed it.
God opened my heart to the truth that salvation only comes through
the Savior (John 14:6). All I was asked to do was trust that Savior.
I came to know that salvation is neither a plan nor a formula. It
is not a series of correct steps one takes. Salvation is a Person.
And the saving is in the Savior! I have come to see my salvation
as a relationship of trust between myself and Jesus Christ. It turned
my eyes from rejoicing in how well I qualified through my obedience
in a plan. It changed to a true joy which results in knowing the
living Christ as my own righteousness! Jesus is the "Man"
of salvation and not the "plan" of salvation.
T here
was a sense that I lived on "emotional energy" which I
thought was "spiritual energy." I constantly tested my
spiritual energy by the level of my emotional energy. I came to
realize that I was called to live "by the faith of the Son
of God who loved me and gave himself for me." I now live by
faith and not out of a reservoir of "spiritual energy"
or "emotional energy." It is a true spiritual strength
which comes from God as I trust in the truth of the Gospel and in
His personal work of salvation for me.
There
was a lack of true peace before. I had peaceful "experiences"
in one sense. But at the same time there were gnawing worries and
fear about failure in the ministry. Anxiety would come over whether
I would "build" a church which would measure up to mine
and other?s standards. There was a degree of self-consciousness
about whether the church I pastored was having the "revival",
the numbers, the giving which others held as the quota. But this
was not consistent with the "peace which passes all understanding."
In fact, I did not see this as compatible with the "easy yoke"
of Christ. Now, because of the wonderful understanding of the Gospel
I HAVE PEACE WITH GOD. Why? I trust in the work or ministry of Jesus
Christ. He builds the Church by His righteousness and Spirit. What
he has already done in the work of redemption is enough to stand
up to the standard of God Himself. It is Christ Who is Lord of the
Church. It is really on Him that all the effectiveness of the Church
truly rests. "He is our peace."
I used
to believe that my assurance came from my "spiritual experiences."
I discovered that I assumed something I never, ever even thought
about, until God revealed His wonderful Gospel to me. I saw my relationship
and spiritual condition as a series of spiritual experiences. I
did not see it as a deep settled unbroken trust in the faithful
supply of the righteousness coming to me in and through the blood
of the Lamb of God. Now, it is not whether or how much I experience
God each day. I indeed do. And I strongly believe that the experience
of God is real and for the believer. But, my faith rests on what
Jesus said: "IT IS FINISHED." For some the work of salvation
is not "FINISHED." For them Jesus says, "TO BE CONTINUED
..." Not for me. I trust in the anchor of my soul. There is
not a blink or flicker in the radiant righteousness of Christ as
He represents me before the throne of God. Experiences come and
they go. They wax and they wane. They can be good and they can be
bad. But Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today and forever!
Growing
up as a Pentecostal I learned to think that the more miracles, dreams,
healings, visions I had, the more it showed I was spiritual. I felt
good whenever I could manifest the supernatural. When I participated
in praying for one who was healed I was affirmed. When I used my
giftedness to give an interpretation to a message in tongues, it
caused my personal esteem to swell. Nevertheless, something in my
heart said that these things were not the basis of my joy or my
assurance. I now praise God that I finally understand why Jesus
said, "in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto
you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven."
(Luke 10:20) How is it written? By faith I am in Christ and Jesus
is in Heaven now representing, mediating, interceding for me with
His righteousness. Jesus, the true "Melchisedec" (king
of righteousness) is my great High Priest, ever living to make intercession
for me.
For some, the absence of the "supernatural" is their evidence
that truth and faith in God?s presence are absent. The Scriptures
declare that we are right with God by faith in Jesus Christ. For
some, as it was for me, this truth has been either muted or replaced
by a "faith" in the miraculous. Some are more in awe of
the supernatural than the they are of the super Christ. It is like
being more thrilled in your shoes than the ground on which your
shoes walk. Both the natural and the supernatural rest on the same
thing: Jesus Christ. "And he is before all things, and by him
all things consist." The faith they should be having in the
complete and finished work of Jesus Christ has been replaced with
a faith in the supernatural. But, the Scripture says, "And
you are complete in Him." The focus is turned from the saving
work and grace of Christ. Why? I believe it is for the same reason
some try to be right with God based on their performance. There
are those who think their rightness with God is connected to the
amount of miraculous events or experiences they have. This is simply
the mysterious side of works? righteousness. The glory is too closely
attached to the person who claims the faith for the miracle. I am
humbly thankful that God has helped me see that the miracles and
healings are the outflowing of the grace of God which comes from
being right with God by faith. Does Christ do the supernatural?
Certainly! Can we expect that the Body of Christ will see and manifest
the supernatural? Absolutely! But we need to keep our faith straight.
THE GREATEST MIRACLE OF ALL IS THE MIRACLE OF JESUS CHRIST! No one
should claim any supernatural act for their own spirituality. That
would be a sign of arrogance and pride. It may also indicate unbelief
in the finished work of Christ.
I n the
past I thought, at times, of "faith" as a personal power
or force by which I could gain God?s favor or urge Him to do things
for me or others. Now, I see faith as a relationship of trust in
the One who does all things well. What is there that happens which
God does not know? Who hurts without God feeling it? What enemies
come against us who can overcome God?s protective love? (Romans
8:31-39) It is not the power of my faith. It is the power that belongs
to Him in Whom my faith is placed. He works the blessing, power,
glory and victory in my life. My faith is as a babies? hands stretched
out to his Father. His is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever.
Amen!
I am
embarrassed to admit one practice I used to feel justified (self-justified
) in doing. That is speaking words of judgment, gossip and derogation
against the people of God. Gossip is an easy thing to do. And we
can even do it in a "just" way. We can do it as part of
being a "fruit inspector." We can do it by using that
passage that says "open rebuke is better than secret love."
We can do it under the umbrella of "knowing those who are among
you." In fact we can justify many things by quoting Scripture
itself. We tend to "judge after the flesh." (John 8:15)
O the mercy of God, who reminds me "thou art inexcusable. O
man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another,
thou condemnest thyself." I have no right to condemn or attack
any child of God. "Who shall lay any thing to the charge of
God?s elect? It is God that justifieth." (Romans 8:33) The
fact is, when one is right with God, there is no need to defend
oneself from another attacks. Rather, one can forgive, "even
as God for Christ?s sake hath forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32)
One can receive the other "as Christ also received us . . ."
(Romans 15:7)
I used
to take the attitude that if I did not sin, I would be free from
condemnation. Strangely, I had reversed the teaching of Jesus and
the Gospel itself. Jesus told the adulterous woman, "Neither
do I condemn thee; go and sin no more." (John 8:11) I found
that in my ministry I had switched it to say, "Go, sin no more,
and then God will not condemn you." I was stunned to face the
truth that I was not preaching the Gospel of Jesus. I was preaching
an "anti-gospel." It was a form of reverse or negative
gospel that had twisted the Gospel until it was backwards. I was
preaching "another Gospel" which Paul, in Galatians, accused
the Judaisers of preaching. I am eternally grateful to God for showing
me my error and forgiving me for wrongfully handling the Word of
God.
I n the
past I have attributed my struggles to the work of the devil. I
found myself blaming what was going wrong in my life and in the
lives of others to all manners of spirits. I fell into the trap
of giving Satan and the demons far more credit and recognition in
my life than the Bible does. Of course, because of "demonizing"
everything I could not understand, I focused on all the "things"
I could do to generate spiritual power to beat back the demons.
What a glorious revelation it is now, to realize that Satan is defeated.
Not in the future. NOW! "And having spoiled principalities
and powers, he made a shew of them openly, triumphing over them
in it." (Colossians 2:15) I have a confidence and understanding
that, being in Christ by faith, I have absolutely no need to fear
Satan or evil spirits. They have no power over Christ and His Church.
What we have often attributed to Satan has simply been our unbelief
or the unbelief of others? in the righteousness of Christ. "If
God be for us, who can be against us?" Paul did not say this
in vain. I have stopped being preoccupied with blaming things on
the devil. Is he powerful and real? YES. Can I in my power handle
him? NO. But I am not in myself. I am in Christ! And in Jesus there
is total safety from all the power of the enemy. "The name
of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and
is safe." (Proverbs 18:10) Satan is a defeated power to those
who trust in Jesus! He is a vanquished foe. I have begun to recognize
that unbelief is more of the problem. It is only the preaching of
the work of Jesus Christ ? Him crucified ? which brings faith. This
faith overcomes the world and all the demons in it!!
One
other significant change that I thank God for is courage. I truly
have allowed the "peer pressure" of others dictate to
my conscience. I have permitted the fear of man to hold me back
from doing what I knew was right before God. What a terrible thing
it is to have your own convictions based on the simple, clear teaching
of the Bible bound up in the worry of what others will think. I
also was afraid for my career and, to be honest, the income I received
being a pastor of the UPCI. But God be praised, for He has helped
me to have the courage of my convictions. As pastor and teacher,
I am the conscience of my church. I am responsible to speak with
the certain sound of truth in edifying and nurturing God?s people.
I must cast the vision for those placed in my care. If my message
is less than the biblical Gospel I am failing as a steward of the
mysteries of God. "Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!"
(1 Cor 9:16) If I do not teach what I know is true, I am dishonest.
If I speak a distorted or "perverted gospel" or one which
departs from the clear teaching the Bible, I am a false prophet.
Needless to say, I preached "another gospel: which is not another;"
(Gal 1:6,7) It does not matter how much others agree with me, or
my tradition affirms me, if I am unfaithful to Scripture, I am unfaithful
to God and God?s people. In fact, God has challenged me that there
is only one Gospel, but I have not been preaching it as Scripture
teaches. Now I can say that I preach the Gospel of Christ as the
New Testament teaches it. And it is a glorious Gospel! "Unto
the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honor
and glory for ever and ever. Amen."
Further
Implications of This Understanding of the Gospel
Let me be very
open with you. I do not know how to truly convey what has happened
for me and in me. I have
had many blessed and overwhelming times in God?s presence in UPCI
churches and as a UPCI minister. There have been remarkable seasons
of refreshing in various churches in which I was a minister. Healings
have taken place. The genuine manifestation of spiritual gifts edified
and encouraged my faith. There have been services where it seemed
that we could reach out and tangibly touch God. As a member of a
UPCI church, God has spoken to my life and filled my heart with
His mighty presence and power. I do not seek to deny any of this.
I recognize that God has used the UPCI to bring me closer to God
and to encourage me to know His Word. The UPCI has taught me the
importance of righteous living. While the emphasis was not always
on the Biblical teaching of righteousness, it did place in me a
value and desire to have a righteous life.
I could
fill a whole book with the great and tremendous things God has done
for me and my family while part of the UPCI. I do not seek to deny
or disparage any of this. I do not want to give any impression that
God neither is not nor has not worked through and in the UPCI. I
cannot say that because it simply is not true. Thousands of people
have been touched by God?s Spirit through the UPCI. There are a
great number of people in the UPCI who dearly love God, are extremely
devoted to His Word, and would do anything to follow or please Him.
My comments about what God is doing in my life through His revelation
(Biblical) of the Gospel is not intended to discount all that God
has already done while I was part of the UPCI.
I honestly
recognize and appreciate all the good that has been provided me
and my family through the ministry of the UPCI. So why does this
understanding of Gospel change anything? IT CHANGES EVERYTHING.
The truth of the Gospel is everything. No matter how great has been
my experience as a part of the UPCI, the UPCI does not formally
believe or preach what I now understand to be the true, biblical
nature or meaning of the Gospel. I truly wish that it did. I honestly
desire that my brothers and sisters in the UPCI declared the truth
of justification by faith in Jesus Christ alone as Paul teaches
it in Romans. My heart is broken that they do not. I know that many
have a faith relationship with God through Jesus Christ. There are
many who have a true justifying faith in Jesus. But it is not the
teaching and preaching which make this possible. It occurs despite
the neglect of the biblical teaching of justification. I believe
with all of my heart that if the people of the UPCI understood they
were right with God through faith in Jesus Christ alone, it would
be embraced with a joy an out pouring of God?s presence that would
cause Azusa street to be a small thing in comparison. It is not
the Spirit of God in the UPCI that is the problem. It is not the
love for Biblical truth that is the problem. It is not the great
love and devotion for the will and move of God that is the problem.
It is the power of human religion, which permeates the UPCI, that
stifles the fresh understanding of the Gospel. And it is this which
hinders an awakening in the Church which our times have never seen
before.
I ask
this question: "Why do we preach a Gospel of salvation which
mixes human righteousness with Christ?s righteousness, when the
Bible teaches that salvation is only possible by the righteousness
of Jesus Christ alone and this righteousness is ours by faith alone?"
And I ask you my brother or sister. "How are you right with
God?" Is it by the blood of the Cross alone? Or is it Christ?s
righteousness plus your righteousness? Are you right because you
follow a doctrinal formula? Or are you right by trusting is Jesus
as you only true Offering before God? Are you right because Jesus
intercedes for you with His righteousness before the Bar of God?
Or do you trust in doing all the good you can and then sprinkle
God?s grace in to make up the difference? Is it by Christ plus your
obedience? Or are you right with God by trusting in Jesus Christ
ALONE!!? I believe it is by faith IN CHRIST ALONE!
With
great struggle I have had to face many of the issues about which
I am writing. It has taken me several years to honestly face them.
I have come to realize that God has been leading and urging me to
address the matters I am writing about. Ultimately, my integrity
and honesty with God could not be maintained without serious heart-searching
study on these subjects. My conclusions or observations are a result
of the Scriptures challenging my beliefs. Many of the things which
I write against are former beliefs which I held very strongly. But
God has faithfully, graciously, but insistently moved me to realize
that I had neither biblical standing for these beliefs, nor had
correctly interpreted Scripture.
I want
to express in all honesty that it is breathtaking to have Scripture
shine the light on your theology and doctrines and show them to
be wanting. I would avoid certain texts of Scripture, or found myself
(as I was taught) putting a unnecessary spin on certain portions
of Scripture to make it say what the UPCI and other Pentecostals
taught. I did this so habitually without facing the reality of what
I was doing. But the plain teaching of Scripture has won out. I
cannot deny that a person is justified by faith in the work of Jesus
Christ. This truth has been emblazoned in my soul despite all the
defenses and arguments that I could raise against it.
I know
that what I now understand to be the Gospel is not what is believed
by the UPCI. Because of this I have concluded that my status with
the UPCI had changed and that I must take the actions necessary.
This change in my faith, preaching and teaching compels me to withdraw
my license.
Conclusion
I am not a novice.
I have been a minister of the Gospel (as I understood it) for 23
years. I do not approach these subjects without theological education
or training. I have studied under some of the best teachers of the
UPCI. Those I have not studied with I have read their writings.
I hold a Master of Divinity degree. I do not esteem these things
as making me or anyone else superior. One can be called and used
of God and have a full understanding of Scripture without the benefit
of formal education. I simply want to demonstrate that the study
of Scripture and the work of the ministry is that for which I have
been well prepared. I have taken my calling and task seriously enough
to seek further education and training.
I am
not on a tangent or promoting an agenda with an ulterior motive.
It would be much easier and much less painful to my family if I
would go quietly and not speak out on this subject. I do not have
anyone "speaking to me", telling me what to write, or
giving me inspiration on the side. This is the response of MY conscience
before God to those who call me brother. I am not under pressure.
I am not taking this stand because it will profit me or ingratiate
me with a group outside the UPCI. I act knowing that what I will
say and what I now believe could indeed be destructive to my former
ministry as a UPCI minister. Nevertheless, I say with Paul, "But
as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even
so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts.
For neither at any time used we flattering words, as ye know, nor
a cloke of covetousness; God is witness:" (1 Thessalonians 2:4,5)
I am
simply a preacher and pastor who has had his eyes opened to the
truth of Scripture concerning the Gospel. I believe it is vital
to the members of the UPCI to know what I know. They are just like
me. Many, if not all, (I cannot judge this by my authority. Only
God knows the heart) love God with all their hearts. Nevertheless,
they have assurance, for the most part, I believe, in something
less than the meaning and benefits of the Gospel. While it may seem
that this is already the faith or teaching of the UPCI, I have found
through diligent study that it is not. I have endeavored to show
that it is not, with the sole purpose of calling my friends, brothers
and sisters to the Scriptural understanding of justification by
faith.
I want
to make a disclaimer. I realize that I could be misinterpreting
Scripture. I could be committing the same mistake I am accusing
others of making. I do believe that my understanding of the central
issues and the Scriptural teaching concerning the Gospel is sound.
However, I still am not arrogant about my positions. I do not believe
that I am infallible. I do not believe that all of my interpretations
of Scripture is perfect. I could be misreading some statements or
teachings of the UPCI in less than their true intention. I am open
to hear from others and take their criticism. I invite your challenges.
Come let us reason together. That is one of the safeguards against
eccentric interpretations of Scripture.
I have
made a serious effort to avoid all personal references in order
to make the issues the subject matter. I have not mentioned names.
I do not wish to create any personal animosity. I do not want any
of my readers to think that I am writing because of some personal
vendetta. I have wrestled with God about writing this testimony.
I know what will happen to my name in some circles. I anticipate
the personal assaults that will come. I am well aware that the response
to my testimony will be diverse and emotionally intense. I anticipate
that I will be maligned and denigrated personally. Some may even
say, "They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if
they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us:"
But I caution you not to use Scripture to buttress your own opinion.
It is tempting to kill the messenger to get rid of the message.
This is the most common and usually the first reaction to an unpleasant
message or a jolt to the conscience. Too often, in my experience,
my brothers in the UPCI will demean the person and question both
his motivation and morality. What would be very noble, honorable
and Christ-like would be to simply address the issues. It may be
unthinkable to you, but maybe John is writing his warning to those
who have left the biblical Gospel.
Who
am I to say such things to my elders and those of obviously more
wisdom than I? I have far to go to reveal the likeness of Christ
in my life. I have fallen short of the glory of God (as have all
people). All I can truly confess is my weakness and by that my need
of Christ?s forgiveness and righteousness. But, it is my hope that
I will not become the issue. Christ, His Gospel and His Word should
be the issues. Let faithfulness to the Gospel of Christ and the
interpretation of the Scriptures, which declares this Gospel, be
the focus of debate. The sign of a true pursuit of holiness and
truth is to address the issues and practices under discussion in
a way which helps the most people see how they stand in the light
of Holy Scripture, helps them obey God, and leads them to stand
before His glory with exceeding joy.
There
will be those who will attribute my understanding to a host of motives,
influences, aspects of my background and personality. All of this
is to be expected. I would be surprised if this did not take place.
I have broad enough shoulders to accept those types of criticisms.
But, to those who accept my words with reasoned, open, forthright
communication, I want to say this: Is it possible that God could
by His Spirit speak through His Word to a United Pentecostal Church
minister and tell him that he has not truly understood the Gospel?
That he needs an understanding of the Gospel which differs from
what his tradition has taught him? Could it be that the reason I
have received a more wonderful and Biblical understanding of the
Gospel is that God did it? Will you grant in my case that it is
conceivable that it has been the gracious work of God and not a
number of spurious motivations and causes that has caused this change
in me? You see, I believe that this is exactly the case. That is
the very reason for this testimony. I stand before Almighty God.
God is my witness, that my motive is to speak what I believe to
be the truth of the Gospel to those people who are just as I am.
He is my Sovereign Judge. I give Him all the glory and honor for
opening my heart to the wonder and marvel of His grace. He has taken
my sins and given to me His righteousness by faith alone strictly,
on the basis of His grace alone, through the power of His Cross
and Resurrection. If I am wrong, God have mercy on me. If I am right
. . . what will be your response, my brothers and sisters?
Thank
you for your time in reading this. May God be gracious and help
us all to continue to better understand the Gospel of Jesus Christ!
Rev. Bernie
L. Gillespie is the founder of In Christ Alone! Ministries. M. Div.
Winebrenner Theological Seminary. Pastor of Grace & Truth Community
Church, Findlay, OH. Adjunct Professor at Winebrenner Theological
Seminary.
It
is the mission of In Christ Alone! Ministries (ICA!M) to declare
the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is the desire of this ministry to
be a means whereby the Holy Spirit, through the Gospel of Christ,
may create in the hearts of hearers the knowledge, conviction and
assurance that Christ, out of sheer grace, has forgiven their sins,
made them right with God, and granted them salvation. ICA! calls
all Christians to a reawakening, which will inspire: 1.) A renewed
vision of the biblical meaning of the Gospel of Jesus Christ; 2.)
Faith unto the salvation by those who do not trust Christ; 3.) The
praise which will give all glory to God alone.
Write and
request copies of this article in booklet form at IN CHRIST ALONE!
MINISTRIES, 2321 N. Main St., Findlay, OH 45840. Call (419) 422-4046
if you have additional question and comments about this ministry |