Dealing With Cult Victims
"We have a relative, who following a divorce, and
therefore during a vulnerable time in her life, was recruited by a friend
and is now involved in this scam. We are VERY concerned as she will be
retiring from the workforce soon and Amway seems to be draining her financially.
Your item on cultism is very applicable, as the male individual who recruited
her seems to have become the male substitution for her ex- husband....
sincere, caring, believable, etc, etc.
Any assistance would be appreciated."
"One of my best friends and my cousin have recently
found "new religion" (how I see it). My best friend has only
amway and only talks amway. It has become his life and his financial savior.
It has strained my relationship with him and his wife. He and I have been
friends since high school and we were inseperable. Her and I have been
friends since college we were roomates for 2 years and I introduced the
two. It has strained his realtionship with our other friend and they are
childhood friends and neighbors. You become part of the amway family because
"know one else understands the kind of commitment that you have made"
or something to that effect. On a personal level, if it's not obvious,
I am angry. I feel like I have lost my best friend to a cult."
"My only real regret for that experience is the
outcome of my former friendship with my sponsors. These were two people
I cared for very much and truely wanted to see all the best for. But, as
they are taught, "If your friends don't want to be in Amway, get new
friends." Two people who I had felt very close to, and considered
life long friends, appearently decided I was not worthy of their friendship.
A real shame."
"My wife is a hardcore member that has not made
any money from this, but the fact she has spent 2 years at it, spent a
lot of money on the motivational materials (which incidentally were supposed
to come out of the profits), and the fact that she is very secretive about
how much is being spent. The original agreement we, as husband and wife,
based on the amway pitch was if nothing happened in a year she would quit.
Are you ready for a surprise? After the time limit was up the agreement
was forgotten. (It has been suggested to her by Amway types we may not
be marritally compatible)
I would appreciate any info you might be able to supply
that might help us out. (Whenever I say anything negative you would think
I've persoally attacked Jesus, Budda, and Bill Clinton)"
"One year ago, one of my dearest friends and her
husband joined AMWAY. They approached me and my husband. We were not interested
but out of respect for our friendship went to a meeting. We listened openly
and decided not to participate in the Amway business. Mainly because, my
husband and I both have our own businesses and have been fortunate enough
to obtain success. Well, things slowly began to change. We began to notice
that they didn't want to spend much time with us, and Joe always seemed
to be preoccupied and looking at his watch. I could live with that...but
then we began to notice alot of "Christian religious overtones"
in every conversation. Now, my husband and I are not Christians, we are
of another religion. We found these religious statements to be uncomfortable
and at time judgemental.
Perhaps the most disappointing thing that happen was
Jane missing my baby boys first birthday party. She had to go to a AMWAY
meeting. She explained that she needed to set an example and that she wanted
to go to the meeting and that a true friend would understand. I am beginning
to understand. She in fact made an example of me to her downlines. Basically,
she showed them that when it comes to building the business you have to
put AMWAY in front of friends and family."
"Great page. I have a brother and father who are
brainwashed into this Amway system and the rest of us siblings are sick
about it. There has been a noticable change in their personalities and
all they care about is making money, money, money, and did I mention money.
People in this should get the hell out, all it does is wreck families."
In the time I've been researching and sharing information
about Amway, I've gotten a multitude of comments like these; hearing so many
stories about friendships and families destroyed by Amway is one of my main
motivations for continuing to do this work. Because I get so many requests for
advice and assistance (in addition to all the other more general comments I
get), it's difficult to answer each one personally, and that's why I've created
this page.
I am not a psychologist or cult "deprogrammer," so I cannot offer
specific advice on how to deal with loved ones who have gotten involved in Amway
or other groups who employ cult-like methods to recruit and retain members.
It has become clear from the reading I've done, however, that it is critical
that friends and family members of cult victims learn as much as possible about
cults and mind control before deciding what action, if any, to take. Two books
I've found to be very well written and informative are:
- Combatting Cult Mind Control, by Steven Hassan, published by
Park Street Press, ISBN #0-89281-311-3. Hassan holds a master's degree
in counseling psychology from Cambridge and has been involved in cult education
and "exit counseling" for 14 years.
- Cults in Our Midst, by Margaret Singer, Ph.D., published by
Jossey-Bass, ISBN #0-7879-0266-7. Singer is a psychologist and adjunct
professor at UC Berkeley. She is probably one of the foremost authorities
in the world on cultism and mind control.
Both books offer lists of additional resources and organizations.
Not surprisingly, there are also a number of excellent cult information sites
here on the web, most of which have links to many other such sites. A few good
sites to start from are:
To those of you who are reading this because you are concerned about a loved
one lost to Amway, you have my sincere wishes for a positive and healthy resolution;
friendship and family are the ultimate riches.
The author
of this site has no affiliation, financial or otherwise, with any of the
authors or web sites mentioned here.
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