I was born in 1969 into an active Jehovah's Witness family. My mother was raised a Witness, and my father converted while serving a three-year sentence in the Washington State penitentiary for armed robbery. My parents met after my father's release when my mother "pioneered" (engaged in full-time preaching) in the nearby town. As I was their first-born child, my parents endeavored to make me a model young witness for Jehovah. My Witness upbringing, then, was especially strict.
I gave my first public talk when I was six years old. I remember the presiding overseer placing a stool behind the podium so that I could speak into the microphone while performing my Bible reading. Soon I was speaking to householders while preaching door-to-door with my parents. When I eventually entered my teen years, I was preaching by myself and giving formal public talks.
Despite my parents' attempts to indoctrinate me into the Watchtower, I never fully accepted many Witness teachings. For example, I failed to see how the execution of Pharaoh's baker and John the Baptist during birthday celebrations was a sign from Jehovah that birthday celebrations were satanic in origin. My youthful statement that, "Baby Jesus received birthday presents," earned a stern rebuke for "wanting everything that Jesus got," with the supporting argument that I should then also desire death on a torture stake!
Years of illogical teachings, and the prospect of a typical Witness future - devoid of financial security and career or spiritual fulfillment - left me feeling despair in my youth. Still, I allowed myself to be baptized at the age of 16. I entered the baptismal pool, not out of sincere belief in "God's wifely organization," but out of the fatalistic belief that trapping myself in the organization for life would of necessity force me to believe the teachings of the Watchtower. Mercifully, God ensured that this resignation was short-lived.
The month between my baptism and beginning my senior year in high school was spent in "auxiliary pioneering" (full-time preaching for a short period). The ordeal of actively promoting a belief system I did not hold quickly convinced me to act towards securing a tolerable future. Shortly after returning to school I announced that I would attend college the following yearža course of action vehemently discouraged by the Society at the time. I endured intense persecution from many Witnesses who opposed any form of intellectual or cultural progress.
College proved fatal to my life within the Watchtower. As my intellectual faculties continued to develop, I began to understand how far the Society deviates from the truth. I viewed the logical fallicies, circular reasoning, shoddy scholarship and factual distortions with increasing distaste. Sickened by the paranoid Watchtower crusades against "independent thought," the un-Christian judicial dealings of the elders and the hypocritical behavior of many Witnesses, I finally escaped from the crumbling walls of the Watchtower in September of 1989.
Lacking any kind of relationship with Christ, I struggled tremendously for many months after my departure. I suffered from nightmares about Armageddon, and often sinned while attempting to relieve the emptiness and confusion in my life. After months of this suffering, I turned to religion in my search for truth. After several months of wading through countless books describing many different religious ideologies, I responded to the call of the Holy Spirit and accepted Jesus as my saviour in June of 1990.
I greatly regret that I had no godly mentor or devout Christian friend to guide me through the turbulent times after leaving the Watchtower. That experience is part of what motivates me now to devote a great deal of my time toward preparing other Christians for ministry to current and former cult members. My great desire is for the lives of those in the the shadows of the cults to be illuminated by the bright light of the gospel. Previously I labored through my works to earn eternal life on this earth; now I share with all the joy of knowing that through Jesus I have treasures stored up in heaven.